When I invite someone as a guest on the blog
, it's because they have something to share that I have no experience in writing about
. Foster parenting is a subject I find fascinating
, heart warming and truly interesting
.
My friend
, Karen and her husband have recently become foster parents and I've asked her to share their experiences
.
When Brooke approached me about writing a guest
post on her blog about foster parenting, I spent several days deciding
what I should say. The truth is that being a foster parent is
terrifying, heartbreaking and completely worth it. We hug crack-exposed
toddlers. We listen to stories of how a parent was violently injured.
We do our best to explain that the police and “big people” that raided
the child’s home were doing it to protect her from dangers that she
didn’t even know existed. Our families see, first hand, the stories
that we used to only hear about in the news - stories that we would turn
off when we couldn’t bear it anymore.
Being a foster parent is
one hundred times harder than I thought it would be, but it is one
thousand times as rewarding as I could have ever imagined. That
crack-exposed toddler will eventually hug us back and begin to trust
grown-ups. The kid, whose memory of their parent being injured was so
fresh in their mind when they came, will begin making new memories –
ones will with laughter, playing and love. The child who was terrified
of police will proudly parade around the house wearing not one, but two
sheriff’s badge stickers.
When people find out I’m a foster
parent, most tell me they could never do it and add a statement like “I
would get too attached” or “I could never give them back.” I’m never
sure how to respond. I’m not sure how to politely say that it isn’t
about us. It’s about them.
Without foster parents, these
children end up in shelters or group homes or worse. So what if you
could do it? What if you could “get too attached” and then “give them
back” when the time comes. Foster parents aren’t super heroes.
Thinking of us as heroes makes our job seem unattainable for the average
person, but it isn’t. Anyone that can love a child can be a foster
parent.
Imagine for a moment that you could “give them back.”
As foster parents, we have to be happy for them when they are reuniting
with their parents or moving in with a family member. We celebrate
with them, laugh with them and jump up and down with them when the call
comes to tell them that they are going home. We help them pack their
things and send them on their way, smiling. Then, when they are pulling
out of the driveway in their social worker’s car, the tears will come.
Behind the closed doors of a now empty bedroom, we allow ourselves to
grieve for the child we just lost, and we remind ourselves that it isn’t
about us.
It’s about them.
“A hundred years from now it will not matter
what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of
car I drove... but the world may be different because I was important in
the life of a child.”
- Forest E. Witcraft
Karen resides in South Carolina with her husband
, Chris and their three children
. They both work full-time
, raise their own family
, and still find time to open their loving home to children who are in need of one
. They
have been foster parents since September and are enjoying every minute of it!
