Guest Post - House of Boys

It never ceases to amaze me how a room with two sleeping boys, ages four and two, can smell like a frat house. They’re still just wee ones, but already I’m seeing glimpses of my future.

I am the sole girl in a house full of boys. This becomes abundantly clear to me in moments when a room erupts in laughter over booger explosions or bodily functions that result in foul smells, when they ask dad to play sports with them because he’s better at it, or when they want to do things “like dad,” such as peeing standing up. I’m assured by several men I know, especially those who only have brothers, that it’s only bound to get worse. Maybe worse is a harsh way to put it, but the point is, there will always be things for which my sons will default to my husband and situations in which I'll be somewhat sidelined.

That's not to say that there aren't days when it's supremely awesome to be the reigning queen. As much as I’m the odd gal out in some respects, being the only one does hold certain advantages. My littles are learning early that proper respect is important, and they’re all quick to shower me with love and thanks when I make their favourite meal or help them with a fun project. They’re turning into little gentlemen, just like their dad, and they all know how to make mama feel special.

And I'd be remiss not to mention the inevitable question that comes with this scenario: "Are you going to try again for a girl?" It always strikes me funny, as if to say I might have the opportunity to choose. If we were to decide to have a third child, it would be to expand our family, regardless of sex.

I’d rather not speculate, in writing at least, on the future of my fertility. Though, I will say that it is sort of weird to think that I may never have a daughter. I guess because my mum has both a daughter and a son, my mother in law has both, and many of my friends have both, I had a notion in the back of my mind that I’d be in the same situation, to get to forge a mother-daughter relationship in which I was the former instead of the latter.

But the truth is, no matter what the future holds, I'm very content with my happy, hectic little home just the way it is. I've grown quite accustomed to my house full of boys. Super heroes, Hot Wheels, Lego and sports gear are my game.

I have two completely unique kids who give me more fulfillment than I ever thought possible. I wouldn't give up my boys for all the tutus and hair bows in the world. Motherhood is motherhood - regardless of which way the coin flips, you always win.

Lindsey Bunin is mum to two busy boys, wife to a pretty perfect husband (who is also a twin!) and a full time editor. She lives in the suburbs of Halifax and blogs at www.mamasmanuscript.wordpress.com and http://thechronicleherald.ca/author/lindsey-bunin-my-hectic-home.

The week the Husband left

Last week. my Husband flew to Vienna to visit his twin brother Shane, for 10 days. Which meant leaving me alone, with all 4 kids for 10 days. Mike works alot, which leaves me to referee the kids frequently on my own, but never for this long.

Compared to many other families, 10 days is just a hiccup. There are so many spouses who have to travel for work and ones who are forced to be left alone with their kids for so much longer! Those parents deserve medals, a free puppy, or a trip to Disney!
It's not easy to be home as the primary parent and it's not easy to be the parent away from your loved ones. Although Mike was touring a beautiful historic city and enjoying all you can eat ribs, while I was hosting birthday parties, cleaning throw up and breaking up fist fights.

Here are a few tips that helped me survive my "spouse-less stay-cation"!

Keep in contact
Nowadays, with Facebook and Skype, it's easy to keep in contact with loved ones who are far away.
We skyped with Mike every few days to check in and catch up on his trip. We sent pictures and Facebook messages daily, updating him on our happenings at home

Ask for help
I'm fortunate enough to be surrounded by family and friends who were able to help out when I needed them. Helping to drive a kid to an appointment, drop them at dance class, or even keep one for an overnight! The help was very much appreciated.

Do something special
Just because Mike was away didn't mean we couldn't do something fun right here at home! I took the kids to a hotel for a night and we ordered pizza, swam in the pool and watched an in-room movie. (that we received free of charge because Jessee told them it was her Birthday and that their father had left them for Easter) They obviously took pity on us!Who knows what they were thinking! Haha!
It was a great way to take their mind off Mike being away, and it was nice to treat them to a little get-away as well.

Find time for yourself
Whether it was cleaning to some music, watching a movie, or enjoying a glass of wine and surfing the web, I made sure to set aside a few evenings just for me, doing whatever I wanted to do.

Set up an organized schedule
Since I was the only one doing the dishes, laundry and house cleaning, I set up a little schedule for myself so I wouldn't get overwhelmed. For example, laundry in the morning, dishes and tidying up in the afternoon and my evenings were free to spend with the kids!


Now he's back! Reality continues on, and I have a cupboard full of delicious Austrian chocolate. It just might have been worth it :)

Guest Post - First Time Mom - Preparation, labor, and what comes after.

Jen is a very dear friend, who I'm pleased to welcome as this week's guest blogger! She chats about being a mom for the first time and relives the good, the bad, and the ugly. She resides in Pictou and shares her cozy, country homestead with her husband Ted, 5 month old son Colton, and their 2 dogs, Maggie and Jake.

So, I'm a first time mom. It's taken me years and dollars to get here but I've made it! No one really tells you the truth about it (thanks, "friends" haha) so you don't know until you're in it. It's the hardest job I've ever had, and I've worked with troubled youth and drunks (which aren't all that different from each other). But it is also the most rewarding job I've ever had. I didn't know love until I saw this mini version of my husband and I. Life changing. I've learned a few things about preparation, labor and what comes after and I feel I should share them with my fellow moms and moms to be.

For me, pregnancy was the easiest part. Yeah you're worried, sleep deprived and hungry...none of that goes away. In fact, it's magnified...sleep is a thing of the past so get used to it. I promise you will learn to function on the least amount of sleep you've ever gotten in your life. You worry about EVERYTHING. His first cold, is he eating enough? Is he warm enough? Is he too warm? Even his poop. It's normal and you will figure it out.

A wise woman once gave me excellent advice, she told me not to worry, there is nothing you can do about it and everyone does it so the doctors and nurses don't care (I don't believe that) but you WILL poop while giving birth. Since I was numb of pain, I seriously thought about it half of the time I was in labor. I still don't know if I did because I didn't ask and I don't wanna know! I did, however, spray pee all over my doctor. TMI?

You WILL think you are a crazy person. You think pregnancy hormones were bad? I cried multiple times a day for a week and a half. I legit thought I was losing it. My wonderful public health nurse assured me it was normal and then I got over it. I realized I wasn't crazy and my husband is the most understanding man on the planet.

Some hot topics...circumcision, bed sharing and immunization. No matter who you talk to, there is always debate. According to the good ol world wide web, all 3 will kill your baby. I've done 2 out if the three and happy to say my child is still breathing (yay me). It's all personal preference and you will do what works for you and your baby.

Babies are loud sleepers. Like, super loud. Like there is a goat baaing and tooting in your bedroom. When they aren't waking the whole household, you will check their breathing. It's normal and they will grow out of it. Thankfully!

Breastfeeding is hard but, like a Jillian Michaels video, you have to try work through the pain. Soon enough you'll barely feel it (unless your baby dramatically pulls away and takes your nipple with them) and it's worth it. Nipple cream is your best friend...apply generously. And if you can't, or decide not to breastfeed, don't feel guilty or let anyone make you feel guilty. Your kid is being fed and that's all that matters.

Prep two months in advance. ..pack a bag, make food you can freeze. Packing while panicking isn't good. You'll end up taking something useless like sunglasses....and you'll forget important things like the thickest pads on the planet. If you don't prep food, you'll be living off toast and cereal because it's easy.

Don't read books...ok do, but know that just like adults all babies are different. What works for your friend's baby may not work for yours. My pediatrician told me I am the expert of my baby...I'm getting there!

There is so much more, and there is more for me to learn, but there is a few to get you started
Happy mothering! Jen

Jen and her husband Ted

Colton at 5 months