Monday, 9 December 2013

Guest Post - Estoy aquí!

Amy Hawke writes from her cozy London flat, sharing her life experiences on my blog for the second time. You can catch up to her by reading her previous entry here

Estoy aquí!
If home is where the heart is then my heart lives in two places, neither of which I presently call home. Rather, I physically sit and write this from a lovely flat nestled on the edge of London Fields.

London Fields is a gem of a place in the heart of London’s East End. I moved here in August with two amazing ladies and we spent summer evenings BBQ’ing on our terrace, watching the sun set over the West End of London. The weekends have been dedicated to exploring our new hood; eating delicious food from Broadway Market, shopping for the weeks ‘fruit and veg’ from our local farmers market, testing watering holes and restaurants, rummaging through vintage shops and taking in all the amazing street art. I’ve spent my morning running along Regents canal and through beautiful Victoria Park, with chilly nights spent snuggled into the living room. Its home, for right now.

I have been away from heart home #1 – Five Trees Lane – for two years, always making it home for the holidays. If I’m being honest, October, November and December are the hardest months of the year to get through if your heart is living in two places and you are living in another. October marks the official start to the Hawke/Mercer/Westaway family birthday season – 6 in 3 months (not to mention the friends birthdays!). There is Thanksgiving to get through (Jenny Hawke makes a mean roast potato), Remembrance Day, the first snow fall and the motherload – Christmas.

This year I spent Thanksgiving with a great group of friends. We cooked a great meal at ‘home’ and I even took a stab at Jenny’s famous roast potatoes – passing on the joy of the roasted spud to our guests. I have also decided to take a leap of faith and spend Christmas in heart home #2 – with Andy in Granada. Moving to London has been tough and I beat myself up a lot – but I stayed because I self-imposed a trawling of the soul when I left home. Like the ghost of Christmas Present in a Muppets Christmas Carol, I have invited myself in (here) because I need to get to know myself better man! The longing and sad moments have changed to grateful, loving movements and I want to constantly feel those good emotions in whichever place and space I am. Longing for home #1 or #2 isn’t going to bring me closer to those feelings of wellbeing – it separates me from my heart which calls me home.

So, instead of longing for what I had, I’ve started to revel in the joys of what I have, thinking outside of the box to be present when I am away. I’m grateful to my family, friends and Andy who have embraced me, making a home away from home and have encouraged me to be here now. It’s become so crystal clear that if you carry home in your heart you’ll always be right with where you are.

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